079 - What To Consider When Choosing An Educational System For Your Child with Drs. Jack Herrin and Janys Lim

Welcome to today's episode! We are diving into a topic that often sparks passionate debates, especially on social media: choosing the right educational system for your child. You’ve probably encountered many strong opinions—some advocating for Montessori, others for traditional schooling, and many more in between. This can make the decision feel overwhelming and highly charged.

If you haven't already, we recommend listening to our previous episode on school readiness. Today’s discussion builds on that, featuring our special guests, developmental pediatricians Dr. Janys Lim and Dr. Jack Herrin. Both are not only experts in their field but also parents who have navigated these choices with their own children—Dr. Herrin’s kids are now in late high school and college, while Dr. Lim’s range from late elementary to high school. Alongside them, I’ll be sharing my perspective as a parent of a preschooler.

Join us as we explore how to choose the right school for your child, offering a blend of foresight and hindsight from our diverse experiences.

Help your kids make a smooth transition to school! Check out our online course, School Start Success!

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The Discerning Parenting Podcast is a free informational resource for parents. As a valued listener, you acknowledge that any information you get from this podcast is for your general guidance only, and ​​must never be considered a substitute for the advice provided by a doctor, therapist, or other qualified medical professionals who know your child specifically. Read our full disclaimer policy here.

Transcript

Welcome to Discerning Parenting, the podcast for parents of kids age 12 and under who have learned the hard way that a one size fits all approach to parenting won't shift the needle for you, your child, or your family. Together, We'll explore intentional strategies that see both you and your kids thrive. 

Parenting strategies based on well conducted research in the areas of child development, brain science, and neurodiversity need practical for you.  What if you let go of perfect and embrace discerning parenting in your family instead?  If you feel like you've been stumbling your way through. And you're ready to leave behind fight or flight mode parenting.

Then this is the podcast for you.  I'm Dr. Victoria Angolasco, developmental and behavioral pediatrician and positive parenting coach, on a mission to help you release your parenting guilt,  so you can become laser focused on what will truly work for you.  

Today we're going to talk about a very controversial topic, especially if we see on social media, you're going to hear many people insisting that a certain educational system is the only right way.  There are going to be those claiming that you have to be a Montessori parent. There are some who will claim that  so and so educational system is going to be the best.  While there may be people around you who insist that you have to send your kids to this particular school.  That's why I know that this can be an emotionally charged topic, and right off from the start, we're going to tell you that we respect different views, we respect different opinions. So we're going to share our opinions and experiences, as well as some evidence, some research studies today,  but  Ultimately, the best educational system will be the one that works for you and your child and your family and there is no one size fits all.

So, this is the second of two episodes. So, if you haven't listened to the first episode about School readiness. Go back to the previous episode and listen to that one.  And today we're going to continue the conversation with our two developmental pediatricians, Dr. Janys Lim and Dr. Jack Herrin. And the wonderful thing is not only are they developmental pediatricians, but they are also parents and they're actually towards the middle and the end of their school journey already so they can tell us, not just with foresight but also with hindsight, because this was a decision that they made before and Dr. Herrin has kids who are already in late high school to enter in college and Dr. Lim also has kids who are already in late elementary to high school. So, and me, my child is in preschool. So you're getting in our team different perspectives with kids of different ages, but we're all going to talk about choosing your child's school.

And  I know that you will be hearing a lot of opinions. Some will even tell you that unschooling is the only way to go. Some will tell you that homeschooling is the only way to go. So let's dive into this debate again. So, hello, and let's say hello to our two wonderful guests, Dr. Lim, Dr. Janys and Dr. Jack, Dr. Jack Herrin.  Hi, everyone. We're back. Well, we never left. All right. Hi to everyone listening.  Yeah, we have listeners from all over the world and we also are here from different parts of the world. Dr. Janice is from all the way across the world in Canada. So, what do you think should parents consider when they're choosing a school or an educational system or an educational philosophy for their child?

Well, I think it really comes back down to, you know, where their child is at. At that point in time, whether you're three or four, about to start kindergarten, you know, they might be at different stages, really, or may have different needs at the time.  How is their child when it comes to language, social skills, does this child work better independently, or does this child really need to be handheld, most of the time.

And I think that's really where it comes in, you know, there are. Different, ways of thinking and different ways of pre starting preschool and all the different preschool types or even school types will have their own pros and cons.  And it really starts with what does my child need at this time? 

Some, maybe it's something I can't really provide at home, which is why I'm sending them off to school. Is this really building on what they already know? Or, is this something that I, I need someone else's help because I really can't do it by myself. I think those are the first thoughts that come to my mind when, you know, I, we think about where should I send my child over the, you know, for the next one or two years.

Yeah, I think it also depends on what part of the schooling journey they may be at, right? So I think for preschool or early elementary, the parents tend to have a bit more say in terms of what school they would choose for their child. And I completely agree with the thoughts of, you know, making sure that you understand the learning style of your child and understanding what their needs might be.

There are some schools that might. emphasize  you know, emotional growth a little bit more. So they might be a little bit more non traditional in that sense versus some preschools where, you know, it's very structured, it's very traditional. And I think you also have to understand where would my child thrive?

Is his or her personality the type that would do really well if you provide more structure? Maybe they're able to, you know, practice some of that self-regulation better if it's more routine if it's more structured, versus some kids where, you know, their emotional growth might actually bloom better and thrive better if they're the ones leading how they're going to learn something.

So I think those are important things. As they get older, I do believe that Maybe some of the power shifts in how you choose a school for your kids, and I'll talk a little bit more about that. But as kids get older, they are also more aware of what they like, what they don't like. And maybe that goes into play in terms of choosing a different school if your family happens to have to shift to a different area, which happened to me. 

But also just in general, if you're finding that, you know, up to a certain grade, maybe this school isn't the best fit for your child. And you shouldn't be afraid to explore and think about other options at that point. Because I feel like to stick to one decision. It for 13 years might not really work for your family nor work for your kid, and that's completely okay, because at the end of the day, you really do want to emphasize how to support that growth in your child so that when they're adults, they feel, you know, very capable and very confident.

in how they tackle the rest of the world.  Yeah, that's true. So there are really many different options out there when it comes to a school system. And it really depends on what works for the child for the family and what would be a good fit. So for some families they may be doing homeschooling and that is something that they love.

There are some kids who thrive well in a progressive school and other kids who thrive well in a traditional school and all of that is okay.  None of us should be shamed for our school choice for our kids. So, homeschooling parents are wonderful. Montessori parents are wonderful and parents of kids in traditional schools are also good. 

And I guess that's a takeaway from what we heard also and another thing that I want to emphasize is that the label of the school or the name of the school does not necessarily reflect their educational philosophy. So, a good example is let's say Montessori, there are many schools that have Montessori in their name.

But if you look at their curriculum, their curriculum is actually closer to the curriculum of a traditional school. compared to that of a Montessori school. So there are all these names being thrown about and I know that there are really no hard and fast definitions to them, because like, for example, the name Montessori is not copyrighted.

So you can put Montessori to  the name of your school, even if you're not following the actual  principles that are taught  by Maria Montessori. And I actually have a Montessori teaching certificate, which I got and I used for my son  during the time that we were  at home. So I had the privilege, I'm thankful to have had the privilege to study Montessori's writings and the Montessori principles.

And a lot of what we hear being thrown around today, like for example, if you Google Montessori worksheets, you're going to see a lot of Montessori worksheets, which have nothing to do with what Maria Montessori actually thought.  So but in general though what would be the difference between traditional and progressive?

And when you say progressive, sometimes Montessori schools can be lumped under progressive. 

Well, to start it off, I think, you know going back to Montessori, when you think of Montessori, I think it goes back to self directed learning. What is the child interested in? What kind of activities would he or she like to participate in?  I went to Montess a Montessori-type school for preschool X years ago.

And I do remember that a lot of the activities, really You know, revolve, sorry, around being hands on using your hands to explore your environment, explore the, you know, the manipulatives that you could play with, learn by  making mistakes and learning new stuff. And, you know, I think, it really came back down to,  The teacher augmenting your learning through self direct, you know, a self directed approach and augmenting it really with  more context and, you know, explaining how this you could learn further from that.

I mean, even the Montessori approach really as you grow older also evolves because eventually you're going to have to go into the higher grades or you interact with other kids. It's not just always you, you, you, but also in the higher grades, you find a way to interact with some of your classmates.  Of course, in more traditional preschools, they still make very, strong use of the pen and paper.

I think we talked about this in the previous podcast where it could really be about  arithmetic or starting to learn about letters, how to write, having good penmanship, which are not wrong at all. But you know, it really comes back to having a balance. Seeing what your child needs and knowing that, you know, all of these  school types have their, have their benefits and also have their, you know, for lack of a better term, shortcomings. 

It really depends on what, what your child needs at the time.

 I think in terms of the labels, right, it's very, I think people maybe have the misconception that if you say, oh, progressive,  they're not teaching the traditional curriculum anymore versus, oh, it's a traditional school. And so,  you know, it's very structured. There's no freedom for kids at the end of the day.

I think what you said at the start of this episode is really what holds true.  Some of the traditional schools maybe aren't.  completely traditional. We have what we call alternative schools now, which is similar to that, but maybe tend to have a bit more leanings towards the arts. And we can talk a little bit about that as well.

And then you have progressive schools where typically the  stereotype school would be Montessori, but you're completely right. Like,  Some school can name themselves Montessori and not, not actually follow the Montessori way of learning.  While on the other hand, you might have some  schools that don't carry the name, but actually have that type of teaching and value and emphasis when it comes to educating their kids.

And then it also comes into play, to, you have to think about, Maybe the origins of some of the schools as well. So there are some schools where the values tend to be not just child led learning, but maybe they like to use, you know, natural things in the environment to help a child explore and learn.

And maybe that's the emphasis that they would like to put a child being able to play indoors and outdoors just as well, but also. Child driven. So some of those systems might be things that you hear about, such as the Waldorf system.  Other things that you have to also remember is that in some cultures,  their education system is just the way it is. 

What do I mean by this? I don't think the Japanese school systems have ever called themselves  like a particular term, but the way that the kindergartens,  Kindergarten classes run is very play based. So they, I don't know if people have seen this, it's in social media, it's in architectural  magazines, and they talk about it in architectural shows, where basically the children get to play indoor and outdoor because Within the building, they build play equipment that crosses over from the outdoor space into the indoor space.

So say there are nets that kids can climb and bridges that they can explore in, and then they run into a classroom and it's an open corridor. So the kids are in the classroom, but they're seeing nature outside. So they don't have a particular term for what they call that, maybe they do, I'm just unaware.

But I think for some cultures, That's just their education system, and that's how it's built.  So I feel like getting stuck on what it's called is, not supposed to be what we worry about. Don't worry about whether it's called an alternative program, or a traditional program, or the Montessori program, or a progressive program.

If your child is thriving in that system, then that's where your child belongs. Definitely should be.  And again, it's sometimes it's a trial and error. Sometimes you go to a school, you think it's going to work out well, your kids always dysregulated, in distress, can't separate from you, really anxious when there's a drop off, you know, crying for hours while they're in school,  then maybe that's not the system that's working for you.

And maybe think about whether or not. You know, you need to pull your child out and try a different school.  I think those things are really, really important. And your child will give signals. Are they in the Montessori school, but maybe the teacher doesn't feel safe?  Or for them, right? Or are they going into a traditional school and maybe They're dysregulated there because it's too strict.

It's too much.  You know, it's too structured for your kid. Your kid will give you signs and signals and it's important to keep in mind that you pay attention to your child. Yeah, that is. Yeah, that's so true. Thank you, Dr. Janice for emphasizing that  we go beyond the labels, like recently I had a parent who was saying that she wanted to enroll her child in a multiple intelligences school,  but her child's current school is actually one that we know to be good and didn't have multiple intelligences in their name.

But we know that that school does respect kids who have multiple intelligence. So it doesn't mean that because something is not in the name of the school, it doesn't mean that they don't follow their  philosophy. Like, for example, my child is in a school that is considered traditional.  But their school has the different centers for hands on learning.

They are, they have those periods for independent play. They can transition in and out of independent play. So,  it more than the actual,  name, it's better to look at the implementation. Maybe if you have the chance to ask parents from that school  observe, a couple of classes.  And it's also very important to go to a school that respects your values and has the same values that you do.

Like, if you would like to be developmentally appropriate, and you like play based learning, don't go to a school that insists that kids should already be reading by age four or five. And I also love how Dr. Janice said, I just want to emphasize the play based nature of early learning in like the countries with that are recognized to have  excellent educational systems like recently there was this  thing going around in social media about the visa. 

The it's supposed to be a test for creativity that measures  the learning and compares the learning of the kids from different countries. And Finland does so well in this test. And Finland is a country that has play based learning and many countries that have play based learning until let's say the age of six or seven actually do very well when you look at international testing standards.

 Oh, another point for consideration.  Thinking about it, it really depends on what the school system is like in your country, in your community. So for example, locally, here in the Philippines, kindergarten and primary school, and maybe to some extent, middle school,  you could be going to the same school for the whole 12 years. 

And people have to be aware of that. I mean, it's not just transfer when you don't like it anymore, but you also have to think, how does this school that you're interested in carry on the good stuff that you liked about preschool? Does it carry it on all the way through middle school and into high school?



 What's their reputation like? You know, is my child going to be here just until he turns six and then transfers to another school for primary? Or is he going to be here the long term all the way until he is just about to enter college? So it's something to think about.  Yeah, and then there's also this thing about starting big school.

I don't know if this is something that happens in all countries around the world. Like there's this transition from preschool to big school.  And it's a clear demarcation or sometimes  maybe the transition is less clear or that the transition to a big school would happen at later, at later ages.

So I guess it would be different, depending on your educational system.  Yeah. I want to comment. About this, because  I do notice a different,  maybe attitude towards that shift into big school. It's very stressful for parents here  specifically in Canada, because the system is slightly different.

It's not just based on your child's readiness, but also the age of your child. So, say,  Your child is four.  A lot of the kids are encouraged to go into junior kindergarten. It's not required.  The government only requires you to start really putting your child into school at grade one.  But there is junior kindergarten and senior kindergarten that can start at grade and five years of age.

But the way they do it is not based on.  The developmental age of the child or the needs of the child. It's really based on the age.  Now, the problem is if your child has any sort of delays, then it's harder to support some of these kids because if the school is not able to provide you the extra support, then your child actually might get left behind by their peers. So definitely,  I like that you brought up that point because that's definitely one of the biggest concerns that I hear from families, right?

They're very, very scared. Is my child actually ready for junior kindergarten or senior kindergarten? That being said, a lot of the set up In the Western countries are a little bit more play based so they don't feel the pressure of say having to learn your letters and your numbers. They do emphasize a little bit more.

Some of the, self care skills for these children. So they do want to emphasize, you know, toilet training. If you're entering junior kindergarten, your child's not yet to illiterate. Because sometimes definitely that can happen  in from my experience anyway from. In most of the Asian countries and specifically in the Philippines, the big jump that people are really scared of is the academic pressure and expectations, right?

The sitting in class and paying attention and listening to your teacher. I think that's the big jump that most parents are worried about.  So yeah, I think it depends on where you are.  There are stressors in that  big jump. shift, but where those stressors might lie or what those stressors might be might change depending on where you are.

 How well does a play based Pre school prepare a child for a big school because that's actually a big concern for parents like if I send my child to a preschool where they play, are they going to be able to do well in big school, are they going to be able to get in because sometimes getting into big The big school that you want can feel so competitive, it can feel like getting into especially there are these,  big schools that feel like Ivy League schools in some way and the pressure can be just as much.

 I agree though, because I hear about it from friends, where they say that the preschool you go to, that's the stage for the elementary  school that your kids go to, and then to the high school, right? So definitely, there's some worry there. In terms of? Play based learning, how well does it encourage your child?

I think it doesn't matter if it's play based or traditional in the structural, like in the very structured  teaching  environments that  we used to know better.  I think at the end of the day,  it's about can the child. Learn to love learning in that environment. I think that's what sets you up for whether or not you're going to have success in.

Big, big school, meaning like, you know, grade one, grade two, grade three, because if you are able to instill in your child that curiosity,  enjoyment for going to school to see their friends, to do activities together, to participate in something new, then I don't think it matters so much if it's through sitting down on a desk and learning in that way versus oh, you know, I'm just gonna go to toys and different toys in different areas in the classroom throughout the day.

I think it's the love for learning that we need to really pay attention to.  In terms of independence, I do find that  Some play based learning allow their children, allow the kids to create a plan for their day. So in that sense, it's their choice for how they're going to structure their day, but there is a structure to their day. 

What do you mean? The child goes in and the teacher might ask the child, What are you going to play with today? What toys are you going to play with? And the child might go, Oh, I'm going to go to the, you know, firefighter set. And they might create like a scenario of how they're going to be a firefighter and how they're going to do that.

And the teacher might go, Okay, so the first half of the day, or, you know, for the first hour, that's what you're gonna do, and they go into that you know, play schema,  they're playing, but they're sticking to that schedule.  But the child halfway through might say, Oh, you know, I'm bored. I don't want to do this anymore.

I'm going to move on to the next. And I think people think that play based learning is you just kind of let the kid go. But actually, in some, in some environments, the teacher comes up to the child and goes, Didn't you say that today we are going to play like as a firefighter for the first hour of class or whatever it is, right?

So you're bringing the child back to that  play schema and you're bringing that child back into their structure, their routine, their schedule for that day. And I think it helps a child understand that, okay, I made a decision.  And I have to like commit to it to some degree and learn in that environment to some degree.



So I think those are things that you have to also observe when you're choosing a school. Is the school able to do that for your child so that they're learning the soft skills?  And maybe not the obvious skills, but they are skills that your child's learning.  Time management, it's. managing their emotions, it's sticking to something that maybe, you know, isn't super enjoyable anymore, but to handle that, because essentially what you're teaching your child is to have some resilience and to have some persistence and to have some endurance, even for the things that maybe they don't enjoy 100%.



Yeah, I'm glad you pointed that out. A lot of parents may worry that in a play based preschool, quote unquote, all they do is play, and that there's no structure, but that play is actually very intentional. And that play is performed and structured in a way that helps the child learn, but in a way that allows them to be creative, direct their learning.

If you're able to find a school like that, that's wonderful. Because, as Dr. Gianni said, Learning how to learn and also building that regulation, building those executive function skills so that planning, rather than just waiting for an adult to tell you what to do all the time, those are very important skills that they're going to need when they go to big school.

 Sorry, no, I was thinking about, you know, in some communities, you know, you know, in our first podcast, we were talking about. Logistics and you know, some some of us don't really have a choice as to where  our Children are going to be going for school. It works best. Of course, if you know, you're planning to put your child for a private preschool where, you know,  you have the option of choosing where he's going versus maybe.

In your county or in your area of town, there's only one or two in the public school system, you know  you know, there's no, which one, you know, which one is better or worse. No, there's nothing like that. But I think one thing that parents have to understand as well is that,  you know, whatever school system your child gets into. 

A lot of it is really following it up at home. I mean, what are the skills that your child has learned? What is your, what are the skills your child has not learned yet maybe? And what  else does the child need to move along? Whatever school system you get into. You would really have to work on it also at home. 

We talked about it earlier. It's not always what the school can teach, but how it can build on what your child already has, or what you've already established for your family and for your child.  And, you know, that relationship continues to evolve as a child learns new stuff. You also learn as a parent, new ways to interact with your child.

And you try to build on that. moving forward. Yeah. Remember, even if a child is going to school, that's maybe two or three hours. And then the rest of the day, over 20 hours, the child still spends at home. Unless of course your setup is such that the rest of the time the child is in a daycare or it's a combined daycare preschool.

Again, there are different systems here. I think sometimes  again, right, thinking about the culture, thinking about what works well for your family and for your child, it changes as the kid gets  There are some cases where,  here There are some schools that might offer some auditions, like as early as grade three or grade four, because they have programs where they might want to do a bit more of the arts with the traditional schooling system. 

And some kids opt to do that because maybe that's their interest. And that is what Dr. Jack had mentioned earlier as well. If your kid has that.  And it helps them stay you know, a school system better because they learn better there and they're enjoying what they're doing there.  It's important to allow them to maybe audition for some of those schools, but also keep in mind that, you know, while some parents might think, Oh, my gosh, what a beautiful system where they have the traditional,  system alongside, say, an art program. 

Some of the kids who get in.  end up staying there for maybe a year or a semester, usually a year, and then may go back to traditional schools.  And  as a parent, you're like, what? You auditioned for that. You love the arts. What made you change your mind and go back to a traditional school? But at the end of the day, your child might have tried it.

Maybe you realize, you know, this isn't working for me. I like the arts. But not enough to spend half a day doing arts, you know, with other kids. And so that's also okay.  And sometimes,  and that's also great for them that they figured out, you know, how much interest,  you know, maybe music really is or dance really is.

And how much time are they really going to commit to those things? And maybe it's enough as an extracurricular. Maybe it doesn't have to be part of their school day. Okay. So, yeah, just to keep in mind that, you know, your kids might change, over time, so take that into consideration as well. And at the end of the day, if they love learning, no choice is the wrong, a wrong choice. 

Yeah, that is so true.  So as we end the episode before that  I'm going to ask both of our guests to for a final tip that they would like to share in choosing  their child's school. But I'd also like to tell you about our school start success.  So we've invited Dr. Jack and Dr. Janice to share  their insights in this training.

If your child is starting school for the first time, you will love this and you can also add on our program about teaching emotional regulation. Parents have loved these courses and they say that they learned so much from these courses. And school start success will help you if your child is going to school for the first time to prepare for it. 

As well as possible issues you might face like, anxiety related to school  even dealing with issues such as bullying or getting along with others.  And  our course about emotional regulation will give you the insights and strategies you can use to build. Self-regulation to help your kids handle frustration.

And if you're struggling with issues such as tantrums or behavior challenges or impulse control, these courses can help you. So head over to discerning parenting.com/start school and we will also link to it in the show notes. And of course, be sure to check out also the first episode before this one, the Discerning Parenting Podcast where we talk about preschool.

readiness also with Drs. Jack and Janice. And if you look at our other episodes, we also had an episode about Waldorf homeschooling by Catherine Reed, who wrote a book about her experiences with Waldorf homeschooling  as a developmental psychologist. And we also have a number of episodes. So scroll through our past episodes.

Also, we have episodes about preschool learning, about reading.  and different things that  that would be helpful as you get your child ready for school.  So Dr. Jack and Dr. Janice, can you share a final tip with the parents listening  about how to help them as they decide what is the best school for their child?

 You know, one thing that He really didn't think about or we didn't talk about earlier was,  you know, sometimes we have the luxury of choosing for our child, you know, what, what preschool he or she's going to, but what if you have two or three kids,  and they're not exactly spaced out. So they're one year behind each other and they have totally different personalities.

How do we go about that, right? And I think it really comes back to looking for common ground,  between, you know, how each child thinks. Because, you know, unless you're planning to drive how many miles in between schools, you may have to put them in the same school too.  And that's where it comes out to thinking which school or which preschool type will benefit, not just one but maybe both or even three children, you know, moving down the line.

Are you going to be in that area of town long term or are you just going to be there for about a year or two?  I think these are some considerations and I'm trying to be realistic about it. It's not always what we would like. It can't always be ideal. But logistics will play a big role and I do want parents to really think about it.

It's not just the financial aspect, but really,  How many kids will I have in a couple of years? How many kids do I already have?  And, where will they be moving up to?  Is the next school just, you know, a few blocks down? Or will I have to travel,  how many miles or how many kilometers to get there? And that's something you're really going to have to think about as well.

Not just what type of school it is,  but that, that's, I love that you brought that up. That was a very real problem for us.  So  I, I completely agree that there are some schools where, you know school buses might not be available. And so really you have to think about driving your kid.  To the school then driving the other kid to the other school because you know as a parent you're not supposed to play favorites  So you try to make it as equal as possible  and then you also have to think about you getting to work, right?

So I think yes those  very practical  decisions have to Be  part of the equation and then you also have to think about financials. I think some parents say, Oh, you know, I really want my child to go into a private school and I will tack on like additional maybe teachers or So educational support teams if my child has delays, et cetera, et cetera.

And while I know it comes from very, very good intentions, I've also had to have very real conversations with some of the families where I have to ask them, well, yes, but is it sustainable?  If you pour in all these resources for this one kid, for this term,  are you able to sustain it for the next term? Are you able to sustain it for the next year?

Are you able to sustain that lifestyle or those choices for your entire family for the next 10, five years? I think those are hard conversations.  And they are harder decisions, even  but at the end of the day, we have to be  pragmatic about some of those choices because you do want to choose something that's going to be sustainable and actually benefit your child for a longer number of years  and across children.

So I think, I think you probably have to think of another episode about siblings, right, and some of the things that can occur when kids have siblings, because I've also heard it from families where maybe one child shows So More potential in one area, and you see parents just pouring, you know, time and energy to support that talent, and I would never say that that is the wrong choice, but some siblings can feel like they get left behind. 

And so that's something that parents also have to consider when they're making the decision. And again, helping your child be vocal and advocate for themselves so that they're saying, Hey, mom, what about me?  Let's not forget me. It's going to be an important conversation for the family to have. Yeah, that's true.

And I guess a final tip I would like to have is Make sure that the school is developmentally appropriate. Now, I know that that is a big term. What is developmentally appropriate? So you can binge listen to the episodes of the Discerning Parenting podcast. We talk about language development, social and emotional development.

In our earlier episodes, we also talked about reading development. So, they will guide you. In looking at what is developmentally appropriate like for example, a school that wants kids to be reading and writing by ages, three or four, or even five, they may not be developmentally appropriate but a school that respects that kids learn at different rates, within a certain range of what is considered. 

Neurotypical. So if you have any concerns about that, you can talk with your pediatrician as well. But a school that respects those differences. And also it's very important to have a school that respects and sees your child's strengths.  I know there are parents who have come to me who said that  they feel that the school is just waiting for their child to make mistakes  or just pointing out the mistakes.

If Well, we don't know if it's really that way or if it's just a perception, but if you feel that,  that is the environment, then you have to ask yourself, is that an environment where my child will thrive? So we want a school that recognizes the strengths in their different learners, appreciates them and builds on them.

And  that is a wonderful idea. In the future, we will invite them back to do a series about siblings and sibling issues.  So be sure to follow the Discerning Parenting podcast so you don't miss any of our future episodes. You'll get to hear Dr. Jack and Dr. Janice again. They shared such wonderful insights with us. 

 📍 Thank you for being here and be sure to check out discerningparenting. com slash start school for our courses, School Start Success and Teaching Emotional Regulation. So thank you so much and we'll see you again soon.  Thank you so much for having us. Always a pleasure. Bye.  See you around. Thank you so much.