077 - Choosing Your Child's First School

This episode is the second part of our series on schooling for toddlers and preschoolers. In our last episode, we discussed that there is no one-size-fits-all answer to the question, "When should I enroll my child in school?" We covered three critical factors to consider. If you haven't already, be sure to listen to that episode as well.

Today, we're diving deeper into choosing the right program if you decide to enroll your child early in school. Join us as we explore the different types of early education programs, what to look for in a curriculum, and how to ensure the environment aligns with your child's needs and your family's values.

Tune in to gain insights and tips that will help you make informed decisions for your child's educational journey.

Check out these previous podcast episodes:

• Does My Toddler Need To Be Enrolled In School Or Is It Too Early? 3 Factors You Need To Consider
• How Do Kids Learn to Read? with Teacher Tasha Mendoza, Reading Intervention Specialist

Help your kids make a smooth transition to school! Check out our online course, School Start Success!

⭐ Our book Learning by Heart: Teach Your Child to Read, Stress-Free is now on Amazon! Click here to learn more about Dr. Victoria Nolasco's books.

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The Discerning Parenting Podcast is a free informational resource for parents. As a valued listener, you acknowledge that any information you get from this podcast is for your general guidance only, and ​​must never be considered a substitute for the advice provided by a doctor, therapist, or other qualified medical professionals who know your child specifically. Read our full disclaimer policy here.

Transcript

 Welcome to Discerning Parenting, the podcast for parents of kids age 12 and under who have learned the hard way that a one size fits all approach to parenting won't shift the needle for you, your child, or your family. Together, We'll explore intentional strategies that see both you and your kids thrive. 

Parenting strategies based on well conducted research in the areas of child development, brain science, and neurodiversity. Made practical for you.  What if you let go of perfect and embrace discerning parenting in your family instead?  If you feel like you've been stumbling your way through parenthood and you're ready to leave behind fight or flight mode parenting, then this is the podcast for you. 

I'm Dr. Victoria Ang Nolasco, developmental and behavioral pediatrician and positive parenting coach, on a mission for children. To help you release your parenting guilt  so you can become laser focused on what will truly work for you.   

 Welcome back to the Discerning Parenting podcast, where we explore the depths of parenting, not just the triumphs, but the trials, the questions, and the quiet moments that shape us and our children. And I'm your host, Dr. Victoria. This is the second part of our series on schooling for toddlers and preschoolers. 

In our last episode, we talked about how there's no one size fits all answer to the question. When should I enroll my child to school? We talked about three factors you need to look at. If you haven't already, be sure to listen to that episode as well. Today we're diving deeper into choosing the right program if you decide to enroll your child early in school.

 Number one, choose a play based program. If you decide to enroll your toddler in school early, I highly recommend choosing a play based program. Why play based? Research shows that that young children learn best through play. Play promotes cognitive, physical, social, and emotional development. It allows kids to explore, experiment, and understand the world around them in a way that is natural and engaging and in the way that they actually enjoy.

It's during play that they learn things like how to share, how to take turns, how to handle frustration.  This is something that No formal academic lesson can teach, and guess what? These are actually the skills that they will need more later on when they start their K12 program. More than actually already memorizing the alphabet or knowing how to read, they will have to know how to handle it if they get frustrated. 

How to take turns. How to listen, how to follow instructions, how to pay attention, and it is through play based programs that young kids learn this the best.  Number two, observe for genuine play based environments. You need to ensure that the program is genuinely play based and they're not just playing lip service to it. 

Often, we see a lot of programs that claim to be quote unquote developmentally appropriate, or play based, or they even have terms like Montessori, but they're really not, or they don't even match the principles that Maria Montessori put forward.  So what do you look at?  You need to see Does the school allow kids to move and explore freely?

This is very basic. A true play based program will have different activity stations  such as blocks, art supplies, dress up areas, outdoor play equipment, exposure to nature. Kids should be encouraged to move and play and engage in hands on activities. A Montessori program would have the different Stations corresponding to the different Montessori activities like life skills and, uh, sensorial activities.

 So, observe the classroom environment. Are there open ended materials that they can play with?  Are the children engaged and happy? Do teachers facilitate play?  And exploration, or do they confine kids to do things in exactly the same way every time?  The good signs of a developmentally appropriate program are the kids are able to move and play and explore because that is what young brains need. 

What are the warning signs that a program might not be appropriate for a young child?  If a program insists on  Toddlers should sit at desks and complete worksheets. That is a warning sign.  Now, they may claim to be play based in their marketing materials, but if their approach is overly structured and academic, it's not developmentally appropriate for toddlers.

Early education should focus on fostering a love for learning and curiosity and creativity and not on drilling academic skills. And plenty of research supports the benefits of play based learning.  The American Academy of Pediatrics highlights that play is essential for healthy brain development. It helps kids develop their language and social skills, their problem solving, their emotional resilience. 

End.  Programs that emphasize play and social interactions have better long term outcomes for children compared to those that focus on early academic instruction. In fact, there is a huge research that showed that  An academic pre K program, not only did it not help the kids, but it actually hurt their chances over the long term because between grades four to six, these kids who were enrolled in an academic program early, they did more poorly on a test, on standardized testing, and  they had more behavioral problems, and they even had a greater need for special education services.

Thanks. Now remember,  at this age, the goal is to support your child's natural curiosity and love for learning. And what do kids need to learn at this age? I know as parents, we're all pressured. We think that what kids need to learn first are their ABCs and their numbers.  But before they can learn the ABCs, the numbers, they first need to feel safe and loved.

They need to be able to trust the people around them. They need to be allowed to explore and experience hands on learning. They need to experience for themselves that learning is fun. These are all things that need to be wired into their brains before the academic learning can happen.  They need to develop the basics.

Things like following instructions, having conversations with others, paying attention even for just a few minutes, regulating their emotions, getting along with others. These come first before learning the ABCs. Why? There are so many complex reasons behind this. For example, the entire process of learning to read.

Believe it or not. Learning to read doesn't start with learning the ABCs. Check out our previous podcast episodes about this, which we'll link to in the show notes.  Here's the reason that I, I will highlight here.  When learning the ABCs or the numbers, at some point, kids will feel frustrated.  And when they feel frustrated, what will they do?

Will they give up or will they go on?  Will they imprint in their brains that they can be successful at learning, even if they make mistakes?  Or, will they learn that they will never measure up no matter how hard they try? Will they have the skills for handling frustration or not? Now, a play based, developmentally appropriate program can provide a wonderful environment for your child to grow and thrive.

And you don't even need to enroll your child in a program like this.  These are experiences that you can develop at home with your child through nurturing experiences with them every day. And this does not need to take up a lot of your time. This does not need to be exhausting. Go back to our previous podcast episodes about Learning activities in a way that is not exhausting and you'll find more in our free parenting toolkit which you can get at discerningparenting.com/toolkit. And remember, trust your instincts too, and choose what feels right for your family.  In doubt, you can speak about your pediatrician or professionals that you are working with, as well as discuss this also with your spouse or your parenting partner. And you can also collaborate with your child in making this decision. 

 If your child seems to be upset each time they're brought to school or an early childhood program, you may need to examine why. You may need to discern, is this something that you can overcome in collaboration with the teacher and the school? Do they help you in overcoming this?  Or does it feel more like a forced environment where your child is simply forced to conform to everybody else? 

Or your child is forced to do activities that are beyond their developmental level? So  thank you for joining me today on the Discerning Parenting podcast. If you found this episode helpful, download our free parenting toolkit at discerningparenting.  com slash toolkit. We also link to this in the show notes.

This toolkit is free. It's packed with resources on no prep activities that you can do at home easily without any stress on your part. And also resources on building early literacy, handling tantrums, and other important aspects of your child's development.  📍 Until next time, here's to embracing the beauty of parenting with all its joys and triumphs, as well as the challenges and imperfections.