075 - 3 Tips for Stress-Free School Vacations: How to Keep Kids Engaged Without Exhausting Yourself

As the school year wraps up and vacation time begins, many of us are feeling the pressure to plan activities, keep our kids entertained, and even start gearing up for the next school year. This busy season can quickly become overwhelming. 

In this episode, we'll discuss how to navigate the chaos, share tips for a fun and relaxing summer, and offer strategies to prepare for the upcoming school year without the stress. 

Tune in for a dose of summer sanity!🌞

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Transcript

The school year has wrapped up and it's vacation time for most of us. So it is quite busy. There's this pressure to plan activities, keep our kids entertained, and even gear up for the next school year and it can be overwhelming. 

  Welcome to Discerning Parenting, the podcast for parents of kids age 12 and under who have learned the hard way that a one size fits all approach to parenting won't shift the needle for you, your child, or your family. Together, We'll explore intentional strategies that see both you and your kids thrive. 

Parenting strategies based on well conducted research in the areas of child development, brain science, and neurodiversity. Made practical for you.  What if you let go of perfect and embrace discerning parenting in your family instead?  If you feel like you've been stumbling your way through parenthood and you're ready to leave behind fight or flight mode parenting, then this is the podcast for you. 

I'm Dr. Victoria Ang Nolasco, developmental and behavioral pediatrician and positive parenting coach, on a mission for children. To help you release your parenting guilt  so you can become laser focused on what will truly work for you.  

Welcome to the Discerning Parenting podcast where we dive deep into the heart of parenting. Not just the triumphs, but the trials, the questions, and the quiet moments that shape us and our children. I'm your host, Dr. Victoria. Today, we're diving into a topic that many parents can relate with. How to cope with school vacations without feeling exhausted.

Regardless of when you're listening to this, even if it's not school vacation time, these tips will also help anytime. There are vacations or even for weekends. I'll be sharing three tips to help you keep your kids engaged and productive while maintaining your own well being.   Tip number one, slow down and enjoy.

I know this sounds counterintuitive,  especially since I said keep kids engaged and productive. And then I'm saying, oh, simply slow down. How is that being productive? But hear this out. It's actually backed by research. Many parents feel it's impossible to slow down. And if we do so, it feels like we're dropping the ball as parents, we're not on top of things, and if we feel guilty for doing so, it's like we're not making the most out of the time that we have. 

There's often the immense pressure to fill a child's time with stimulating learning activities.  Well, if you feel this way,  be assured that this doesn't make you a bad parent. Let's release you from this guilt and pressure right here. It's not about the  meticulously planned days or the educational outings every week, but it's about being there, truly there with your child. 

It's about the messy, unplanned moments of life that our kids learn resilience, empathy, independence,  and a lot of the skills that they will need over the long term.  So let's release ourselves from the guilt and shift our focus from performing for our kids or making them perform to simply being with them.

Let's give ourselves the permission to slow down instead of rushing from one activity to the next because it's only when we slow down that's when we can be truly present with them.  So how do we put this into practice during such a busy time? We can practice what we call gentle invitations.  We can invite our kids into our world and we'll be open to stepping into theirs,  whether it's simply sitting and observing them.

As they play, and we can even do this if we have our own chores and our own tasks by checking in on them once in a while, or we can cook a simple meal together, enjoy a story, or just sit together in the backyard or in any part of the house. These are moments  where true connections are forged.  If we have young kids, and let's say they're playing, whether with their blocks or they're building a tower.

 We can watch them, then we can observe, and we can give comments like, Hey, I see that you put all these blocks together. I like how you arranged them in this way. I like how you arranged them in different ways. If they drew a picture, I like the different colors that you used. Can you tell me more about it? 

These are pictures. Nice,  gentle invitations that show them we are present,  they are not difficult to do, they are things that we would be doing anyway already, we are already spending that time. Being there, talking with them, there is just a slight shift of focus from dictating and planning to being curious and being present. 

So as we transition to vacation time, let's remind ourselves to slow down.  The pressure to keep our kids constantly engaged and productive can lead to burnout for both them and us.  It's okay to have days with no plans.  To just enjoy each other's company and to let the days unfold naturally. Sometimes the best memories are made when we least expect them. 

Now, having no plans doesn't mean that we completely do away with our routine and structure, but If, especially if you or your kids are the type who need some sort of structure, even if there is no plan, head over to discerningparenting. com slash toolkit. And one of the resources there is how to create a visual routine for kids.

Once you have that routine in place, you won't need to micromanage the day anymore and consistently plan activities.   Now, tip number two is manage expectations.  Let's set realistic expectations for ourselves and our kids during school vacations.  Rather than trying to plan every minute of the day, we can focus on creating these moments of connection.

Now, social media can create unrealistic expectations around what parents need to do for kids, and there's been an entire body of research evidence. That has been published about this and we'll link to these researches in the show notes. Now, let's distance ourselves from what social media and everybody else is telling us to do and just turn to what works for us and for our kids. 

 Now, tip number three, involve kids in creating memories.  Now, I know we all want these core memories with our kids.  But these core memories can be the simplest moments. You'll be surprised at how, if you let them, even young kids have so many creative ideas for fun activities. Now, of course, we may not want to encourage all of their ideas, like there are some who might want to take apart every piece of furniture in your home.

Now, these are not so brilliant ideas, so we're going to set limits and boundaries.  Also, but if we sit back and observe, I bet there are so many wonderful ideas that our kids come up with that they're also wonderful and acceptable with us.  Of course, there are activities that can work for your budget and your schedule, and they're accessible for you.

Maybe there are picnics at the park, DIY craft projects at home, or maybe camps organized by your child's school or local community, and these are great.  It is okay to sign up for activities that your child enjoys and that work for you, but it's about striking a balance. We don't want to spend all of our time shuttling kids from one activity to another.

So school vacations can be a wonderful time to bond with your children and create lasting memories. If we follow these three tips, we can keep our kids engaged and happy while at the same time maintaining our old well being. And if you check out also our previous episode, we'll see that We do not need to sacrifice between having fun or letting our kids learn between having downtime and then making sure that their brains are healthy and well prepared for the coming school year ahead by following these three tips.

We're protecting our mental wellness, our kids mental wellness. While at the same time, giving them the connections and the experiences that their brains need. And then building skills like resilience and emotional development, which will help them not just today, not just in the coming school year, but for the long term.

 📍 So thank you for joining me today on the Discerning Parenting Podcast. And remember, you are the best parent for your child, and it's okay to take care of yourself along the way.