074 - Is it okay to let kids “just have fun”?

Welcome to the Discerning Parenting podcast! In today's episode, we dive into a classic parenting dilemma that's especially relevant as school vacations begin: Should we let our kids enjoy being kids, or should we focus on keeping them in learning mode?

Whether you're tuning in during the summer or any other time of the year, this topic remains timeless and pertinent. 

Join us as we explore the triumphs and trials, the questions, and the quiet moments that shape our parenting journeys and our children's lives.

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Transcript

Today we're tackling a common dilemma, especially as school vacation begins. Should I let my kids just enjoy being kids? Or should I focus on making them learn?  Maybe you're listening to this in the heat of summer or any other time of the year, but this topic is timeless and relevant. Welcome to the Discerning Parenting podcast where we dive deep into the heart of parenting, not just the triumphs, but also the trials, the questions, and the quiet moments that shape us and our children.

And I'm your host, Dr. Victoria. 

 Welcome to Discerning Parenting, the podcast for parents of kids age 12 and under who have learned the hard way that a one size fits all approach to parenting won't shift the needle for you, your child, or your family. Together, We'll explore intentional strategies that see both you and your kids thrive. 

Parenting strategies based on well conducted research in the areas of child development, brain science, and neurodiversity. Made practical for you.  What if you let go of perfect and embrace discerning parenting in your family instead?  If you feel like you've been stumbling your way through parenthood and you're ready to leave behind fight or flight mode parenting, then this is the podcast for you. 

I'm Dr. Victoria Ang Nolasco, developmental and behavioral pediatrician and positive parenting coach, on a mission for children. To help you release your parenting guilt  so you can become laser focused on what will truly work for you.    

Picture this, it's summer vacation, your child is begging to spend the day playing outside or maybe playing in  the house or around their room, while at the back of your mind you're worried about keeping up with academics. Now this isn't just a dilemma for vacation season, but it can pop up during any break or any downtime such as the weekend. 

And we may often feel like we need to choose. Do we let kids enjoy their childhood or do we push them to keep learning?  But, what if I told you that you don't have to choose?  Why? Let's talk about the incredible power of play.  We may think that play is a break of learning, but it's not. It's a vital part of it.

When kids play, they're not only having fun, but they're also developing critical skills. They're learning how to solve problems, think creatively, and interact socially. Kids build resilience, empathy, and independence, which are all things that we want to develop in our kids anyway. So when we let our kids just, quote unquote, enjoy being kids, we're actually giving their brains the best.

possible work out.  And what does science say? One of the best things we can do for our kids development and learning is to build strong, positive relationships with them. Now that doesn't mean that we need to schedule every moment with structured activities or educational games, but it means that we spend time together.

We are present with them and we connect with them in meaningful ways. Now this doesn't mean hovering over them 24/7.  These are moments of connection that we can do throughout the day during most days, whether it's a spontaneous game of tag, or maybe just a lazy afternoon reading together, or simply spending time in the evenings talking about their day.   

 Many parents I talk to are already doing these things anyway, without them even realizing it, they're already incorporating learning.  Sometimes these can be everyday moments, like meals together, doing chores together, taking car rides or running errands. Sometimes they can be things like a trip to the zoo that can turn into a science lesson and you don't need to stress about this.

You don't need to do a lot of effort or preparation about this. They can be things like cooking together where the child is actually learning math and chemistry, even without much extra effort on your part. The key is to integrate learning into everyday activities without making it feel like a chore.

End. As always, if you feel that it's already leaving you exhausted or burned out, then you can rethink the activity and try again or try something else.  Invite your child to join you in activities that naturally blend play and learning. Maybe it's gardening, baking, or taking a walk in the park. These shared experiences will foster learning and connection without the pressure. 

 Now as parents, especially moms, we often carry a lot of guilt about not doing enough. I often hear moms feel guilty because they feel they haven't been on top of their kid's academics.  But here's the truth. You don't have to be constantly on top of academics for your child to thrive.  I know this sounds shocking.

by allowing kids to enjoy their childhood, And build strong relationships. You're providing a foundation that supports all areas of their development.  So let go of the guilt and trust that you're doing an amazing job.  The beauty of parenting lies in the balance between structure and spontaneity.  And in embracing learning through play.

And remember, you are the best parent for your child. And this happens not in spite of the times that we may feel that we're not perfect, or that we may have quote-unquote dropped the ball, but maybe it is because of these imperfections. Because we grow, we learn,  we model how we make mistakes,  and then we do things again and we improve and we learn. 

And we love more deeply than we ever thought possible. So thank you for joining me today in the Discerning Parenting podcast. If today's episode spoke to you, you will love our free parenting toolkit where you'll receive guides on no-prep activities, handling tantrums, building early literacy, and other things you may be worried about.

So when it comes to questions like Is it okay for my child to play, or should I make my child learn, or questions I should sacrifice fun so that my child learns right, or I'm so burned out helping my child learn their lessons but it's all worth it  These are choices and sacrifices that society is placing on you unfairly.

In reality, you don't need to choose. Kids learn best through play or when they're having fun. And your mental wellness is one of the biggest factors influencing your child's healthy brain development.   📍 If you want more strategies on how to do this, be sure to follow the Discerning Parenting podcast because, in the next episode, we'll share three tips to keep kids engaged without exhausting yourself.

Until then, here's to embracing the beauty of parenting for all its joys and imperfections.