041 - Visual Routine Charts: Why They Benefit Kids and How To Use Them

Do you ever find yourself wondering how to create a routine that truly works for your family? Are you concerned that imposing a strict routine might stifle your child's creativity and flexibility?

If these questions resonate with you, you're not alone. In this enlightening episode, we dive deep into the world of parenting routines and discover the delicate art of balancing structure with adaptability.

Join us as we explore the benefits of structure in a child's life, from providing a sense of security to fostering healthy habits. Discover how routines can be a powerful tool in managing the chaos that often comes with parenting.

Download the free guide “How to Create a Visual Routine Chart” from the Discerning Parenting Toolkit for instructions on how to create a chart that works for your own family!

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Transcript

 I get a lot of questions about routines. Some parents ask, how do I create a routine that works? And I've also been asked whether or not having a routine removes a child's creativity and flexibility. So is it possible a balance between routine and flexibility is the key? So in this episode, we'll examine the benefits of structure while acknowledging the importance of adaptability in our children's lives.

If you've been feeling like each day is a struggle, it's possible that a routine might help, especially if you're having Tantrums and other behavior challenges. Are there days you feel you've had it with the sleepless nights, the temper tantrums, the constant fatigue of trying to keep up with an active baby?

Does it feel like you're always working so hard as a parent, trying to do everything for your kids and family, and yet it never feels enough? We get it. You love your child more than anything, and yet parenting is also exhausting and challenging. Especially when you're bombarded with criticism and pressure to be the perfect parent.

Which, spoiler alert, does not exist. That's why we created Discerning Parenting. The podcast that helps you cut through the noise and focus on what truly matters in your parenting journey. This podcast is jam packed with valuable insights and practical tips specifically tailored for parents of kids age five and below.

So join us and discover how you can use the combined power of science, knowing your child, and your own intuition in making the best parenting decisions for you and your family.

So what's a routine and how can it help? A routine is defined as a predictable way of doing things. So, for example, a morning routine can include waking up, having breakfast, brushing teeth, getting dressed, and then having some playtime or going to school or daycare or the park. A bedtime routine can include a story, prayer time, a hug, then tucking in the child for the night.

Maybe for some parents, you've consulted a professional. About your child's development and behavior and many professionals would recommend what we call a structured home environment, having a routine is part of having a structured home environment. And that's what we talk about. So why do routines matter and how can they help?

Because routines offer not just kids, but even other members of the family, some stability that they can count on. As adults, we actually have many routines and we don't even realize it when we get ready for work, or even when we drive our kids to school or to places that we need to go, we don't need to think through them each time they become habits so that it takes less effort for our brains to get them done.

And the American Academy of Pediatrics has a program called Early Brain and Child Development. And this one is about optimizing brain development in the first 1, 000 days of life. This is their Early Brain and Child Development or EBCD program. And in their EBCD program, they teach five R's in promoting childhood development.

So that's read together with your child every day. Rhyme, play, and cuddle with your child, develop routines, particularly around meals, sleep, and family fun, reward your child with praise for successes, and develop a strong and nurturing relationship with your child. So routines are one of these five R's in early brain and child development.

Now, having a routine where kids know what to expect, they also know what is expected of them at different times, can help improve their behavior. For example, in the clinic, kids are often brought to us for behavior problems, and then we ask them about routines at home, and we find out there aren't any.

And, again, definitely, we support every parent in every situation, and this is not to judge them. It's not necessarily their fault, but it can be the circumstances. So, for whatever reason, it ends up that the child will eat and play and use gadgets whenever they want. And then we get the child who refuses to eat at mealtimes, and then is fed while being chased around the house as they play.

Or they refuse to take a bath, or brush their teeth, or go to sleep. One of the things we tell them to do. Is to talk among themselves in the household and to agree on and implement a routine. Now, I know that this is easier said than done. And this is something that we help parents do in our parent coaching programs.

And we really see the improvement when the family works together to have structures and routines in the house. Just imagine if you're at work going to your office and then you never know when your break time is going to be. You never know when you're going to have a meeting. You never know even when you'll be off.

I'm sure you wouldn't want to work in a place like that. So the same thing goes with a child having a routine at home. And many people think that having a routine can interfere with the child's independence. But in fact, it's the opposite. Having a routine helps a child be more independent because they know what to expect and they can participate in everyday tasks more because they know what's coming and they have that structure and that routine.

And then within that routine, they can be flexible and creative. So, for example, a child knows that during this time, it's playtime. So that is structured, but how they play during playtime, they can be as creative as they want, within limits, of course, within reasonable limits. And if we have established routines, it can lead to easier transitions between tasks.

So for example, transitioning from playtime to mealtimes, definitely it won't be perfect, but it can be easier if they know. That after a certain amount of play, they need to wash their hands and then they need to have their meals. And it can also lead to less anxiety throughout the day. For young kids, it's very important to use a visual routine.

Why? Because young kids are still learning about language and then they need things to be more concrete and visual aids such as charts or a colorful checklist can add fun. And it can also give them a visual reminder to help them know what is coming. Visual aids and charts can be beneficial for all kids, but they're especially helpful for young kids or kids who have difficulties with what we call working memory or executive function.

Or even kids who may have developmental ADHD.

Having something concrete like a visual routine chart can help them in guiding their daily tasks. So how do we get started with making a visual routine chart? Now, first of all, head over to discerningparenting. com slash toolkit, where we have a free PDF guide about this. There, you'll get a free parenting toolkit for parents of kids age five and below.

And one of the tools there is about creating a visual routine chart. So the first step would be to write down the normal activities that your child is doing as part of their day. So it's up to you if you want to do a visual routine chart for the entire day or just one segment of the routine that you find challenging.

So would this be a routine around mealtime, a routine around bedtime, or a routine on waking up? And then, it depends on how much support your child needs. For kids who need extra support, you can even break down these tasks into smaller pieces. So, for example, for some kids, it may be enough to write something like, Mealtime.

And it's understood that they will wash their hands and then sit down to eat. But for some kids, you will need to break these down into even smaller steps. Even the act of handwashing can be broken down into a smaller step. I'm sure now when you go to a public restroom, there are all these charts handwashing.

So even us adults can benefit from seeing a visual chart of the hand washing routine. So imagine how much more for younger kids. And then after doing this, you can take photos of your child doing these things, you can draw pictures, you can use clip art, just like some of the art that we have in the visual routine chart that you can download.

And then you can put them in order and then you can make them visible to your chart. It doesn't have to be complicated. I know sometimes some resources on the internet make. Seems so complicated to have a visual routine, but really it's all about having a visual reminder. to tell your child what is coming next.

Then you can even give your visual chart a fun or silly name to add interest or invite your child to name it themselves. For example, your child's name and then their fun chart. And then, just like any new skill or routine, using a visual chart will take practice. So, you can walk through the chart with your child every day, so you can walk with them to the chart, you point to them, for example, show the first picture, okay, so this one is about washing our hands, so let's go wash our hands, and then you tell them, okay, let's look at what's next on the routine chart, sitting down on the table, and then you sit down on the table, And then it's up to you, sometimes simply having the chart there is enough.

Some parents may want to have a detachable star or checkmark that they can use. And then, as your child comes to learn what to expect next from the chart, you can help them begin to think through the steps themselves. So for example, you can ask questions like, what comes next? Or what's the next thing on your list?

This can also help them engage critical thinking and planning. And of course, this depends on the child's language level. But even for kids whose language skills may not be that well developed yet, even asking Those questions, what comes next? And then you walk to the chart together. Oh, I see that hand washing comes next.

Now let's do it. That's part of what we call talk alongs and think alouds. And they're a wonderful way to build a child's language skills. And remember, not every day will be the same, and that's okay. It doesn't mean that you have a routine, so every day you will always have to do things the same way in exactly the same order.

Of course, there are days when you'll stay home, days when you'll have a surprise trip, and that's okay. And every family may need different images and structures to create a useful routine chart that works for them. So get our free guide on how to create a visual routine chart for examples and instructions on how to create a chart that works for your own family.

You'll have sample graphics and you'll have a chart that's included, but you'll be able to personalize them as needed. To get this, head over to discerningparenting. com slash toolkit and this visual routine chart is one of the items included in this toolkit. So get creative. Go download your personal routine chart and don't expect perfection.

Remember, this is about a tool to help us get through the day. And to enjoy the day better and not for us to be a slave to the routine or to be so stressed if we deviate from it. Just like many other aspects of parenting, patience and repetition and also flexibility and a sense of humor, all of these are keys to learning new things.

So again, sign up for the Discerning Parenting Toolkit at discerningparenting. com slash toolkit. And this includes a visual routine chart. For kids, and don't forget to follow the Discerning Parenting podcast.